As a Career Consultant, I have been experiencing some heaviness lately when it comes to
supporting and providing services to my clients. As we enter the final quarter of what would be one of the most historic years in modern times, many of us still do not know what the actual fudge is going on. There is so much more uncertainty than ever before. We have so much more unanswered questions than we initially did. One of the main objectives in my profession is to ultimately help my clients land that career opportunity or goal. To do so, I am responsible for providing all the resources, strategies, advice, guidance, and support within my capabilities to ensure that my client is equipped enough to grab that career goal with both hands. This year and in particular, these past few months, my objective hasn’t changed, the “how-I-do-it” hasn’t changed (that much), but the outcomes are vastly different. I have realized that I can make a valuable effort to provide my client with the resources, tools, and knowledge to achieve that career goal, but I have no control over the attainability or even the availability of that career goal given the circumstances we find ourselves in today. This is where my heaviness lies. Look- pursuing a career, putting yourself out of your comfort zone and exhausting all your time, energy, resources in trying to achieve a career goal is already an overwhelming and taxing experience. Trying to do so in a global pandemic?? Well that overwhelming and taxing feeling increases tenfold. I feel that mostly everyday in the interactions with my clients. Now, we can most definitely harp on the global pandemic and what could have been done to avoid or better withstand the challenges that come with it. But I am not here to talk about that. I am here to tell you something that needs to be heard; something that we ought to be telling others frequently. Imagine if I, as a career consultant, is experiencing hardships in achieving my main objective of helping my clients land career opportunities; can you begin to fathom what my clients are feeling? I am hurting for them but my hurt is insignificant compared to what they are experiencing. And sadly, because there are numerous things that are totally out of our control, I am not sure what I can do to help. I know that I can help and the desire to help is even more profound than it was ever before; yet I just don’t know where to begin. After some reflection, I decided to lean more into my empathy as a call-of-action… The first step I want to take to help is to say these words, words that I genuinely and empathetically mean- I get it. I understand. I empathize with you. I may not know the severity, the extremities, the finer or holistic details of your story, of your current season, but I can understand, empathize, and share what you are feeling, experiencing, and dealing with. We are living in a plague of uncertainty. I know what that feels like, I have had to ride that wave of uncertainty myself too often. We weren’t prepared for this. I know that this is challenging; regardless of if you are trying to achieve or attain that career goal, have just started that career goal, or are still trying to motivate yourself to get started. It is such a mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually trying time for all of us and it looks different for each and every one of us but I just wanted to say these words to you, nothing more; nothing less- “I get it, I understand, I empathize with you.” CW
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You want to know the truth? Here is the truth- there is nothing ordinary about you. Nothing at all. You were not created to live an average life. You were put on this Earth to fulfill a destiny, to create history. You have seeds of greatness within you, seeds waiting to blossom into something far greater than you can ever imagine. And how is any of this true? Well take a minute to look at your life. Like how far you have made it. Or the number of life’s battles that you have won. Or perhaps the amount of times life tried to bring and keep you down but it stood no chance against your strength. Recall all those battles you faced. The internal and external. The ones that kept you up late at night, that left the scars and destroyed your peace. Think about the pain and hardship that you endured. The lesson learned. And yet, despite all that suffering, you’re still here, standing tall and proud. You see when you take into consideration all that you’ve been through in life, and recognize the fact that you are still able to stand firm in strength, in love, in laughter, in peace; you realize that you are truly more than a conqueror. You are more than that problem you're facing. You are more than that worry or fear that's keeping you up at night. You are more than that pain that's scarring your heart. Whatever obstacle you're facing right now, just know that you are more than it is. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of this: "I am more than a conqueror. I've been through many battles in life and there's many more to come but it's no test for my strength, my determination, my faith. I will continue to be victorious. My struggle is and has been tough but I am tougher. I am more than a conqueror" Then when you are done reminding yourself, go out there and conquer your life… CW I have been doing some thinking lately…
To me, it feels like we are constantly reminded of the things that we are not. We are often reminded of the things that we can’t do. Our flaws, our shortcomings and our faults have not only now limited us but also have become our identity. Funny enough, more often than not, we ourselves, are doing the reminding. We ourselves have allowed our own mistakes to become much more than who we are. We start to allow these negative reminders to dictate our existence, our lives and our feelings. Furthermore, to add more fuel to the fire, we have compared ourselves and our value to what others portray to us. Additionally, we let our past or more specifically the things that broke us to be etched in our souls, bodies and minds. We cradle our bodies within the weighted grips of that pain, limiting us to see our true potential, our true purpose. With all these thoughts running through my mind frequently at the most random times, I asked myself why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why have we become our biggest enemy? Why are we empowering our insecurities instead of empowering our confidence? Naturally, the main reason why these thoughts were seeded in my mind is because well, I am guilty as charge for doing the aforementioned. But today, I made the constant and deliberate decision to put an end to this. To take back my life from my flaws, my insecurities and my shortcomings. So, I urge you to do the same: -Take your life back from your flaws. Your flaws DO NOT define you, you are much more than that. Find out who you were before you allowed your flaws to define you. Who were you before you allowed your failures to limit you? Remind yourselves of the opportunities you have given up because you nurtured your insecurities instead of your confidence and TAKE IT BACK! -Take your life back from what broke you; the pain, the sorrows, the tears that have all damaged you. Allow that pain to build you instead of break you. Our past is meant to teach us lessons, lessons of growth. Use the pain to help foster growth in you and let it spread like a wildfire throughout your mind, body and soul. Don’t allow it to fracture or crack you. Have the faith and belief that you will mend and allow yourself to. We are already living a life where we have to prove our worth to others in order to elevate. Whether it is in our personal or professional life, we are somewhat “obligated” to prove our worth and value to others. And if we fall short of their standard or status quo, there’s no doubt that we will be informed of such; sometimes kindly, other times brutally. So in that case, why are we setting ourselves up to be defeated before even taking part in the race? Make a promise to yourself, as I am, to put an end to this. Take back your life to who you were before you allowed your flaws to identify you, to limit you. Instead of reminding yourselves of the things you are not and the things you can’t do, remind yourself of who are you and what you can do. Remember that, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.” CW Life really is a roller-coaster ain’t it? One minute we’re up. The next minute we’re down. It is so much of a roller-coaster ride that we expect the “down” moments. It’s like we are anticipating it to happen. It’s so inevitable that we tend to almost feel strange and even guilty during our “up” moments. “Why am I so happy? Something gotta be wrong! This is too good to be true” we argue with our puzzled being.
We can have amazing, positive things going for us, so much to look forward to, so much to be thankful for. But, if there’s one negative thing that is hurting us, lingering in our mind, or daunting our feelings; we are likely to dwell on it. We allow this negative thing to affect us mentally, physically and emotionally. Regrettably, because we allow this one negative thought or feeling to settle and grow in our minds and hearts, a good day turns into a bad one. Maybe you’ve had a day or a week like this? The mental ordeal affected you so much that today’s plan was not completed or perhaps was not completed the way you initially aimed for. You felt like the day needed more than just 24 hours. Probably because you spent the majority of that time feeding yourself into that negativity. This overwhelming and defeated feeling is seeded into your mind. The over thinking and disquietude commences. You ask yourself, “the day has ended and I am exhausted. It is time to rest, but why can’t I?” You are so ready to call it a day. To just “sleep off” the pain, the sadness, the disappointment. Sadly, your mind has other plans. Can you relate yet? If so, do not feel culpable or embarrassed. It is human nature. It is part of being a human: feeling. Embrace it. Face it. Overcome it. I encourage you to get rid of that uneasiness, the uneasiness that keeps you up at night by reminding yourself this: you can always start over, each morning. Each morning is a new opportunity, a new blessing, a new gift. Don’t end your day feeling defeated but rather triumphed as if tomorrow is the reward for today. The same way we unconsciously expect things to go bad; for life’s roller-coaster to go down. We can also expect things to get better; for the roller-coaster to go back up. And for the days where this idea seems preposterous, remember: you can always start over, each morning. My friend, your life’s roller-coaster is going back up in the morning. Get ready! CW. It is said that when you think positive, positive things happen. In other words, a positive mindset fosters a positive outcome. Hence the common phrase: "think positive, be positive". In a perfect world, we can easily think positive. We can tell someone to make their goal or dream a reality and it will happen. "Make it yours!" is what we will claim. That bold mindset simply creates a burst of positivity that encourages us to grab hold of whatever we aimed for. The positivity to make it yours. But how does one remain positive in a world that constantly portrays and emphasizes on the opposite? Maybe it's our positivity that's helping us endure all the negativity we are surrounded by. Perhaps we truly and consciously believe that we can overcome whatever battle we are faced with because of that boldness, that burst of positivity to make it ours. The belief that no matter what challenge we encounter; we know that this too shall pass. Why? Because of the desire to make it ours. But can this burst of positivity go the distance? Can we continue to withstand the waves of negativity? Can that burning desire to make it ours prevail? I, for one, would like to believe so. Regardless, I say to anyone pursuing a goal or dream, "think positive, be positive and make it yours." Memories are things that keeps us going. However, they also can keep us back. A fond memory is like a seed that germinates into a mini spurt of motivation and encouragement to help us get through our daily demands. On the contrary, memories that aren't so fond can easily demotivate anyone from even getting out of bed.
Memories influence and stimulate our humanistic "fight or flight" instincts. The good memories foster in us a willingness to fight through the day whereas the unpleasant, and sometimes painful memories instill a deep fear that causes us to simply run away. But in true essence, these two aspects of memories strengthen us. They fuel our journey towards greater potential and a greater good. They are not meant to shatter us but rather to empower us. As Les Brown once said: “In the prosperous times, you put it in your pocket; in the lean times, you put it in your heart and that's when you discover who you are." And what's empowerment without the discovery of oneself? So I urge you my friend, hold on to those memories. |
Chad T Wallace“Write. Rewrite. When not writing or rewriting, read. I know of no shortcuts.” Archives
October 2020
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